Saturday, October 1, 2011

In Which I Attempt to Steal Sister’s Bike

Image of costume from yeah, a basket just like she would have on her bike.

There’s a new family legend out there in cyberspace. I’m not just Joe, mild-mannered bike commuter and college professor.

No, like Bad Horse, I’ve apparently ridden to the wild side.

I’m Joe, Bike Thief.

I was enjoying a beer in the new University Center at Mount Mercy University after the dedication ceremony Friday, when my cell phone rang. A raspy voice in code set up the heist. Actually a nice man whose nondescript name I don’t recall—Steve or Nick or something—told me “we have a wheel for you.”

He was referring to my rear wheel, where I had broken the spoke Wednesday. It was good news to hear from the bike shop Friday, and Saturday, today, I went to retrieve the bike.

The gentleman at Northtowne asked for my last name, which I gave. He then wheeled out a cream-colored Raleigh with a back rack. A lady’s bike, too. My manly non-Raleigh bike is black with no rack (I hang a basket on the front, wicked witch style).

I told them this bike wasn’t mine, and they quickly located the right one.

No harm done, until tonight, when my sister posted on Facebook, “hey Joe, hear you tried to steal my bike today.”

Yes, yes I did. Trying to join the Evil League of Evil, or whatever the Bad Horse-run group in “Dr. Horrible” was called. Not that I’m wild about a lady’s style bike—although I do tow grandchildren around riding my wife’s lady bike because that’s the one the trailer hitch is attached to—but I did like that rack.

Still, give up my wicked witch basket? Naw. Lets hope the looks alone win me points with those to whom I want to appear evil, like college freshmen or Bad Horse.

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