In Which Miles Total 356 for ARTN(a)R

Third Avenue bike lane, near art museum, heading south early in ride Saturday.

A ride that’s not a RAGBRAI (I sometimes omit the A, as you will see in the mileage chart)—it’s done. It was good. The week’s mile total was 356, which I would call OK. A typical RAGBRAI totals about 440 miles, or maybe 470 with optional loops. I rode two full RAGBRAIs when I started participating about 2010 or so, but in more recent years have been a member of a family team where four riders take turns driving a support vehicle, so with around 2 driving days, a typical RAGBRAI for me would probably total 350 miles or so.

The 2020 planned route, form LeMars to Clinton, would have been 420 miles, so 350 would be a reasonable estimate of how many miles I would have biked in a better world this week. That 2020 route, by the way, is the plan for 2021, and may the universe conspire to make it so.

Anyway, as has been my tradition on this fake ride, I did some song parodies on Saturday’s ride, and as my sister and I pedaled around Ellis Park, we kept thinking of new ideas, so today’s video is a special 4-song extravaganza of bad singing:

I did get a few miles in on Friday, although it was the day after our century ride and a designated “driving” day. I have a 4-year-old grandson who has been under our daytime care, and he missed me this week, so I spent much of Friday in a sandbox, or pushing a swing, or pouring water at a splash pad.

Friday, the Iowa weather was warming up, so it was a good day for morning shade play and afternoon hiding out in the AC.

After rest time with grandma (the kid missed me and likes me, but these days grandma is his special pal), he wanted to know if I would give him a bike ride home. He wanted a fairly direct one—Friday night is movie night for his mom and him, and so he didn’t want too much touring. I agreed.

But he did want to check the duck pond on C Avenue at Collins Aerospace—and as luck would have it, we saw a mother and two babies. He had to spend some time watching them and tossing grass to them, which they dutifully pecked at, much to his amusement.

Friday, bikes on bridge at C Avenue duck pond at Collins Aerospace. And grandson (above and below), watching the ducks in the pond.

And, as we headed north to his home, at Dry Creek on C Avenue, a doe was munching grass beside the mostly dry waterway. It was watched, which further delayed the trip home. So, we didn’t really ride around as much as we might have, but also didn’t get him home as soon as we could have.

No harm done, and I’m sure movie night delayed was still enjoyed.

Wildlife seen on Friday ride, many images of cute duck family, plus the doe we saw later.

After Friday’s “driving” day, my sister and I planned a shorter ride for Saturday. The temperature was to top out in the mid-90s, with humidity that caused a heat index in triple digits with a weather service heat warning. We took that to mean “ride some morning miles and finish not-RAGBRAI/ARTNAR before the brutal heat of the afternoon.”

I was going to ride my road bike, but after the century, I noticed some serious wear in the rear tyre (note: it’s a style thing, since the rubber tyres used on “safety bikes” were invented in Britain in the 19th century I use the British spelling of tyre on this blog), so I got the slower hybrid bike out to ride Saturday.

Friday was warm and humid, but as this view of the Lindale Trail shows, still not bad for biking. After returning grandson to his home, I rode a few a few miles on the Boyson-Lindale trails.

One advantage of not-RAGBRAI is that I used all three of my bicycles this week, which was nice. The road bike is for sure the official RAGBRAI bike, but this week was not an official RAGBRAI.

Anyway, I was running a little late Saturday morning, which shocks nobody who knows CR Biker, so my sister triked over to meet me. She had acquired a new rainbow flag for her tricycle, which was nice—it flies at about biker height, and since I followed her for much of the final ride, it was a good marker for whether I needed to duck for branches.

Riding Saturday on the CEMAR Trail.

Passing Mount Mercy University Plaster Athletic Complex. I teach at MMU.

Riding on Third Avenue bike lane north of downtown.

My sister has her own route to get to downtown CR, and our plan was to ride to Ellis Park, a local biking landmark not included yet in this week’s rides. Then, we were going to just randomly cruise the west side before heading to New Bo for the victory lunch that would signal the end of the week’s rides.

My sister’s route involved heading to the CEMAR Trail (another bikeway not used before in this week), and then heading down 15th Street to Third Avenue. It’s not a route I would have ever used to get downtown, but it’s a good route. One reason is that the Third Avenue bike lanes in downtown CR are the best in the city, thanks to the lane being completely segregated from traffic and parked cars once you get to downtown.

We crossed the river on the Third Avenue Bridge. When we headed west on First Street towards Ellis Park, we ran into an issue as the trail on the levee west of the Five-in-One bridge was closed by road construction. Our resulting detour took us by the monument to the flood of 2008, which flooded about 20 percent of Cedar Rapids and permanently leveled the housing in this neighborhood.

Crossing Cedar River on Third Avenue bridge. Passed by courthouse (unseen to our right).

Passing under Five-in-One Bridge. This bridge carries the main drag, First Avenue, and Interstate 380 over the Cedar River. It's also built on a dam which used to generate electricity (although it doesn't anymore). Not sure how it makes the bridge "five," but Cedar Rapids, land of four confusing quadrants, has an odd thing with the number five. The city motto is "city of five seasons," which makes as much sense as you think it would. The city symbol is an odd metal tree that looks like an inverted toilet brush. The official motto refers to "four seasons plus time to enjoy them all," which is a pretty nonsensical way to get to five seasons. I think of it as "four seasons and time to clean the potties, too."

The "Time Check" neighborhood (the name has to do with the city being big in the railroad era) was destroyed by the June 2008 flood. This is the monument that commemorates the flood.

The entire Northwest quadrant (badly named, it's the western quarter of the city--besides being the city of five seasons, Cedar Rapids is apparently the land where the compass malfunctions--I live in the Northeast quadrant, which is so named so strangers can't figure out it means "north") was not washed away, but this is in memory of a neighborhood of this quadrant that was destroyed. Sad chapter in city history. In CR neighborhood names, Northeast=North; Northwest=West; Southeast=East; and Southwest=South.

The morning was warm and humid, but not really hot yet. By the time we got to Ellis Park, both of us were thinking a bathroom break would be a good idea—but most in the park were closed, with Kybos placed at them. Which helps explain the theme of one of my songs, as I “performed” several to celebrate the final ride.

Anyway, we did find one public restroom in the park that was still open, so that adventure has a happy ending. CR bike riders, look for the horseshoe pit, it’s beside the actual real live indoor plumbing, in case you don’t want the warmth and smell of a seasoned Kybo on a warm summer ride.

Riding bikes on the banks of the Cedar River at Ellis Park (above and below).

After riding in the park, we rather randomly cruised the west side for a while, taking a snack-water break in the shade of a tree in a church parking lot.

We ended up over by Czech Village and circled around on the trail east of there for a while. The Bridge of Lions, which carries the Cedar River Trail over the Cedar River, is closed for resurfacing, so we took the detour route behind the Czech and Slovak Museum to cross the river and head to New Bo.

New trail on levee east of Czech Village, hooks up with Cedar River Trail seen at left.

Hey CR peeps. Is this the Eighth Avenue Bridge? It's the detour because Bridge of Lions is closed.

We also rode the short Sinclair Levee Trail, and encounter some bike traffic there.

Earlier this week, there was lots of broken glass at the north end of the detour bridge. It was gone today. Thank you, city of CR, I assume. Or whatever random biker carries a broom.

It was a few minutes before 11, opening time, when we got to Fong’s Pizza, our lunch spot. It was growing hot, but when asked about seating, we opted for the patio, partly out of respect for other diners who probably didn’t want to experience the odor of warm-day bikers. The patio is in the shade between buildings. The structures helped focus what breeze there was, and although the day was hot for biking in the sunshine, being seated in shade in a breezy alley between buildings was comfortable.

Our waitress, who said her name was “Mystery”—which I thought either meant her parents had a sense of humor or she wisely gives out a fake name, as bar girls and waitresses sometimes do for their own protection, and she liked the sound of and humor of the pseudonym Mystery—apologized for the slowness of our meal at the not-busy restaurant, but apparently an early and large takeout order had caused a kitchen delay.

CR Biker and sister contemplate what to order on patio at Fong's.

Mystery apologized for the wind carrying away our umbrellas. No matter, the fruit juices and rum in the Painkillers did indeed kill our pain. And note how the table umbrella in the background makes it look like my sister has a gnome hat.

“Oh darn,” my sister said. “We have to rest for a few minutes longer.” We didn’t care. We were enjoying fruity rum drinks called Painkillers, and were feeling little pain. The service was slow, but not terribly so, and a sit in the shade was a good way to spend part of the day. Our drinks and food, when they arrived, were quite satisfying.

Then we had to slog our way home in the early afternoon heat. We took it easy, but went ahead and circled Cedar Lake when we got there, so the heat must not have been too bad.

Cedar Rapids bikers will be completely not surprised that we had to dodge some geese while circling Cedar Lake.

When we got to my sister’s house, her wife had left a bottle of CR tap water on the driveway for us to use to “dip” our tyres. On RAGBRAI, it’s a tradition to dip your rear tire in the Missouri River at the start of the week and finish the final day’s rid by dipping your front tyre in the Mississippi. We usually don’t partake in the ritual—there’s often a scrum and we figure the way physics works we’re encountering water molecules from the two rivers all week long anyway—but it was a cute gesture.

Paulette also left us a cooler with two bottles of Not Your Father’s Root Beer. Not Your Father’s Root Beer is a brand that has alcohol in it, if you’re not familiar with that product.

Paulette makes image of my sister Cate "dipping" her tyre.

A toast to a ride that was not a RAGBRAI. Cheers!

And so, the week came to a close. RAGBRAI always signals the end of summer for me. There is a lot for a college professor to do before a semester starts, and this year the fall prep, with all the uncertainties the pandemic brings, will be especially hairy. But I am thrilled that my wife Audrey suggested this week’s rides, and that my sister was game for ARTNAR. Audrey also baked some chicken and some potatoes, so my post-nap supper Saturday was a fitting feast to commemorate the end of the summer ride.

Cheers to a good week, Cate. And as we toast our rides in the official root beer of Team Joe, we hope for better days ahead. Wear your mask and wash your hands.

Friday rest day ride.

Saturday ride.