In Which CR Biker Covets A Totally Impractical Ride

Blame this one on Amanda and the silly Dutch.

My oldest daughter told me to Google “Gazelle Cabby.” It turns out it’s a heavy-duty cargo bicycle introduced this year by Royal Dutch Gazelle, a Dutch manufacturer of bicycles and electric bikes. This one is human powered, and since the bike itself, with bag attached, weights in at 85 pounds, one can assume the name “Gazelle” is ironic.

I assume this bike is probably a bit more practical in Holland than in Iowa, since Holland is a land not noted for the bumps in its topography. I’m not sure how it would be to try to push this puppy up the MMU hill. It’s a seven-speed, and one wonders at the mountain-climbing ability of its most extreme gear.

But, still—can I picture myself on the Cedar River Trail, gliding along, with Tristan and Nikayla, ages 3 and 5, in front? Sure. Stop fighting, you two. You can have a Granola bar when we stop.

I can also picture myself with Amelia and Audrey riding along. After all, the front basket can carry 160 pounds, which is comfortably a granddaughter with a grandmother thrown in, too.

Then again, that means I would have to move 160 pounds with the power of my aging legs. I don’t think we’d put in a bunch of miles, although the few miles I could do would be fun ones.

So, the Gazelle would not be a practical primary bike for me. At close to $3,000, I would have to have a lot of extra disposable income before I purchased this puppy—it’s a bit down on my wish list after a big ass macro lens, a vacation cottage on the Mississippi and a full suite of toys that being with “i.”

But a man can dream. And yes, if I was rich and I owned 4 or 5 bicycles—and what rich man doesn’t need 4 or 5 bicycles, in all honesty—I bet one would be a Gazelle Cabby.

Then, I could carry both Audrey and a Brompton in it. A bike with a spare bike. Why not?